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Archive for January, 2004

Time Out

January 30th, 2004

OK, so there’s this article that Adam Greenfield wrote over at v-2.org that I wanted to discuss. Please read this article – it’s funny! – then, come back.

Have you read it? Good. Adam Greenfield is full of shit and it saddens me I can’t write him to tell him that. Maybe he’ll see it on this site, but with a readership of about six people, my hopes aren’t high.

Don’t get me wrong; I liked his article a lot. Articulately written. Uses the term “soixante-huit.” Discusses issues of “real problems” not related to whether or not you are supporting The Man because you’ve bought into “corporate culture” and have opted not to buy shit from Ikea. Then, somewhere in there (maybe the Starbucks part), Adam makes a right turn that I’ve heard tons of people make when (for whatever reason) you go after a company they like.

Nike, Ikea, and Starbucks didn’t become “progressive” until their customers and other activists protested. To counteract, the PR departments of these organizations (not stupidly) dumped money into advertising campaigns touting themselves as as responsible corporations. It was only after sweatshop activists railed against Nike for using sweatshops in Cambodia, environmentalists railed against Starbucks for doing business with slave wage farmers using toxic pesticides in Central America, and labor rights activists against Ikea for union busting in southeast Asia that these companies decided to implement useless corporate codes of conduct and declare themselves “sweatfree and pro-world.” But I’m awfully fucking glad your coffee tastes nice.

Secondly (and this is important), most people have no idea what Monsanto, ADM and General Dynamics are, nor what they produce. I’ll let you in on a little secret – the name recognition of Walmart, Nike, Coke, McDonald’s, Starbucks, the Gap, etc. make them nice, big, fat, juicy targets. Activists aren’t stupid either. They’re waging a PR war of their own, and they’re going to go after Kathy Lee, Sean “Puffy” Combs, and Jerry Hall and not waste time trying to fight with the flesh-eating lawyers of Monsato when no one knows who the hell they are. Not fair? Sure as fuck it isn’t. But this isn’t a level playing field we’re talking about. Negative PR has been shown to be THE ONLY WAY to get companies to change their practices; you need to go after their wallets. Are you going to attempt to appeal to their sense of morality? Of the well-being of their workers? Are you truly so naive to think that they are going to give a flying shit about that?

There’s a reason the SEC is going after Martha Stewart and not Ken Lay, and it’s the same reason these activists are going to go after the Gap. To fight back, Martha’s lawyers are going to say she’s being made “an example of.” In a similar vein, Halliburton is going to run commercials about what fucking heroes they are, giving t-shirts to one armed Iraqi babies and crap like that. It’s a war fought in the media, and when I kick my Nikes up on the table and sip my Sumatra/Sulawesi blend while reading about “injustice” somewhere far away, I’m just another victim in the advertising shoot-out. But I don’t believe that these companies are “responsive to the demands of a politically and socially conscious audience”; rather, they are responsive to their shareholders who are nervously fingering their phones, wondering if they should start dumping stock because 47 people burned up in a Bangladesh sweatshop. If Adam wants to “channel all the resentment…directed at…relatively benign inhabitants of the corporate sphere..” to “institutions…responsible for far greater deformations of the world…” he needs to realize that this fight isn’t a smoke your Cuban, tilt your beret, march on Washington battle, but a no-holds barred mud-slinging PR campaign where the main currency is advertisements. If you want a sense of scale, bring it down to what the average person is going to know and pay attention to. Get brand recognition to work FOR you, rather than against you. After all, you ever heard of a pair of Air Monsato’s?

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It’s been awhile

January 30th, 2004

This once a week thing has to stop. I’m going to go with baby steps – I’ll bring myself back to 3 times a week, then slowly but surely move towards the daily I tried for before.

Things are going well in da’ hizouse. First, let me give a “shout out” to all the people who were there, helping me get my move on, last week. I was sick as two very sick dogs last week – I think I had SARS or something – and everyone was there to pick up the slack. Even Darren and Lou showed up, which was one of the nicest surprises a man could ever have.

You’re all heroes. Give yourselves a hug.

Farm life is nice, I must say. Wake up ass o’clock, drink my coffee (out of my new coffee-maker, which kicks total and absolute ASS), maybe wander outside and catch a quick bit of frostbite. When it snowed on Wednesday, I was actually trapped in my house with no way to go anywhere, which was moderately alarming at first but something I slowly got used to.

The commute sucks.

I also found this transcript of what it’s like to sit next to Korzak during a special sneak preview of the Lord of the Rings. Enjoy!

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Dear America. Fuck you. Love, CBS

January 23rd, 2004

Real American Heroes

January 19th, 2004

There’s an update to Get Your War On and, quite frankly, it’s a goddamn thing of beauty.

I just wanted to give a “shout out” to all the heroes who came up this weekend to knock stuff down and strip down wallpaper. That’s right, heroes. Rob, Eric, Scott, Mark, Sergio, Liz, Min Gi, and Mary P all came by on Saturday and got “jiggy” all up and down my pad. Black “Macguyver” Afrob dropped this sweet rope and pulley system on the shacks (the product of many hours of trying to figure out how to lift up a thousand ton bong, no doubt) and the “ladies” were heroically stripping wallpaper or cooking or something. This was good, since my father and I were busy sticking a nail through the radiator pipe and sending cascades of million degree water (seriously, if it were any hotter it would have been steam) shooting through the house. Ahh, good times.

In addition, Sean McIntosh stopped by on Sunday to … are you ready for this? …. clean our bathroom. That’s right. The man who, not 6 years ago, didn’t even know what a toilet brush was was saying to me over his shoulder “you know, a lot of people forget to clean behind the toilet, and it gets really dirty back there. Can you hand me some more paper towels?”

Sometimes I feel like I’ve gone through a time warp.

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Beavis!

January 12th, 2004
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Check out this Beavis look-alike on mugshots.com. It’s truly amazing!

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New design. You like?

January 7th, 2004

I’m bored with the old design so I tossed this up there. It’s still substandard, but I’m working on it. Let me know if you like this design, or if I should go back to the other one.

So…tired…

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Crikey.

January 7th, 2004

Got this message today from the Man Down Unda’ (Greg Miner). We were supposed to hang out on New Years Day, but I didn’t hear from him. He left me a message that I didn’t get until the third and… well, it’s best if I write it out:

Everything is ok now – apparently I developed Type 1 Diabetes and ignored the symptoms for a month or so (thought I was battling the flu). Then that progressed to something called Diabetic Keto Acidosis — and I really felt like shit on Christmas and for a couple of days afterwards but again I thought it was the flu. Then I drove up to Danbury and during the
drive it progressed to Metabolic Keto Acidosis — and everything fell apart. Called my mom from a hotel I was staying in and was completely out of it (delerious, delusionsal, etc…), she called an ambulance, and I spent the next two days in the emergency room and intensive care until I was stabilized and not in any danger of cashing in my chips (from what the doctors tell me I was knocking on a door I really didn’t want answered) and then another 4 days in the hospital until I was stabilized – then I came
back here [North Carolina, where is family is] on Friday and on Monday I went to another doctor. She ran some tests and she told me to go to the emergency room – so then I had ANOTHER night in the hospital. But I’m out now and everything is slowly returning to normal. I’ll be on a strict diet, exercise regimen, and insulin injections for the rest of my life but I should be ok as long as I take care of myself and closely watch everything that I eat. I really have nothing to complain about. If I’m going to develop a chronic disease better it be diabetes than cancer or something of that nature. And being that theres nothing I can do about it (no one knows why one develops it however it’s suspected that there is a genetic predisposition) I might as well get on with life.

Absolutely. Fucking. Crazy.

This got me thinking about us (and by “us” I mean you and me, my readers) collectively. I know I’m speaking to a demographic here of men who are approaching or surpassing 30 years of age. I just wanted to say to ya’ll (and I’m not excluding myself, here) that “things aren’t what they used to be.” It’s probably time for some regular checkups, a few laps around the block, maybe even a little snap of the latex glove. I’m sure you’d rather hit your 35th at a party than in a coffin. God knows if I have to bury a friend, I don’t think I’ll take it very well.

For me… I have chest pain, and I don’t know why. I’m very overweight (OK, maybe I do know why). I sometimes get symptoms of angina when I’m out running in the cold weather. I hurt my shoulder on Thanksgiving and it still hurts. Through all this, I haven’t been to a doctor, and I can’t really explain why, except to say that I’m an asshole and I can’t seem to figure out the medical system (I called a doctor in November, but they couldn’t see me until February, which made me wonder what would happen if I were already dead. I guess the insurance company would be off the hook). Nevertheless, I think it’s time I made an effort to find out what’s going on with my walking carcass. It can’t hurt, right?

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House Pics

January 6th, 2004

Normally quite boring, but anyone who wants to see pics of the housework, check out this link

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Take me to your Leader

January 2nd, 2004

Hope everyone’s new year’s eve went well. I spent it with my wife in our new house, so that makes me officially “old.” At least I didn’t go to bed before midnight.

Just at, like, 12:04 am.

Anyway, Korzak (I keep spelling it Korczak for some reason, the Polish Apocalyptic Lobster) is starting off the year with a post about the Mars rovers, so I’m going to do some space stuff, too.

It appears that analysis of the Milky Way show where complex life may have or has already evolved. We’re going to have to get a little philosophical for a moment, so bear with me.

How do we define “complex life?” The argument is a parallel with another physics argument – what was the Universe before the Big Bang, when the Universe had infinite mass and infinite density? Stephen Hawking has stated that what came before the Universe isn’t relevant to our mathematical assumptions about the Universe we live in; an infinitely massive and dense particle defies all laws of universal physics and, thus, we can draw no conclusions about its nature. In a similiar vein, life that is not carbon-based, multi-molecular, and breathing a nitrox mix isn’t really on our radar. Earth may have already been contacted by alien life, but we are unable to recognize these lifeforms as intelligent and complex. We are limited by our own definition of life, which makes the next part kind of funny.

According to the article, there are about 30 billion stars in a “Habitable Zone” that can support life we recognize. Our Sun is younger than 75% of the stars in this zone, which might mean we’re the youngest and stupidest lifeforms out there right now. Our definition of “complex life” is limited by, perhaps, how non-complex (simple, that is) we are.

But, that’s neither here nor there. Let’s go to math to see how many cultures might be out there. Let’s say, of these 30 billion stars, 1% have planets on them. Of these planets, 1% are like earth. Of those like earth, let’s say 1% of those have life that we can recognize. That means there might be 300 planets out there that have recognizable life on it. Not that we can reach them, of course, since they’re so far away, but what the hell. How bad could it be?

PS I found this website by accident

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