Gadhra dot Com

If you don’t want to translate Korzak’s binary crap, here it is!
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It is my greatest hope that some day in my lifetime, the technology will be available to transfer human consciousness to a machine. host That is to say, before I die, I would willingly give up my human form to continue existing as a disembodied mind, residing in an artificial matrix of some sort. A digital entity. I’m too curious, too much of a voyeur of humanity to ever willingly accept death. I would much rather continue on in machine form, inside a robotic chassis, than just stop existing. I’m certain that with time, artificial bodies will be created so perfectly that they will be as good as actual human flesh, and then we’ll improve on those as well. Preferably, I’d have a human form for interacting with people, and also be able to control any number of other robotic appliances to do things that no human being would be capable of doing. The thought of it makes me giddy.

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The last post of 2003. *sigh* It makes me go a big rubbery one.

I wanted to write a bunch of deep stuff about the passing of this year into the next one, and the pit-pat of sand in the glass, but I don’t have it in me. It’s been a hell of a year – Gentleman Jim and Jade, the new houses for me and Dell, kicking my mother-in-law out, getting to know Korzak a little better, Hurricane Masta finally getting a girl he doesn’t need to blow up, Jamie becoming a teacher, Black Afrob getting engaged (to a girl, no less), dozens of people turning 30, “Big” Mac becoming “Just” Mac, a war or two, and parties galore. I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff in there that I don’t remember but is no less important. How does one encapsulate that into a pithy statement, or a few lines? One doesn’t, is the short answer.

I always felt that the new year should begin on the winter solstice, because it’s the shortest day. All the days up until the summer solstice get progressively longer; it’s like your entire year is being reborn. The flip of the calendar year, however, seems to have this certain sense of finality. On the other hand, the Christians among us think the new year should begin on Christ’s birth, our hope and salvation reborn with the lengthening days.

My point in this is that it’s arbitrary. We slice up time into chunks that we can easily comprehend. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, because I think that we all need to pause at least once in our many trips around the sun to re-evaluate our lives and see where we’re headed. Whether you do it now or in June is of no concern, and I’m vowing that this year I’m going to try to pause and make sure I’m heading in the “right” direction a little more often.

That, and to lose some weight. Everyone else is on a diet, and if I have to become the “Big Man” I’m going to cry.

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You should always have the day after a holiday off. Feh. I drove in this morning from CT and I’ve regretted it ever since.

So, how was your Christmas? Mine was good; thanks for asking, you inconsiderate asshole. I got some pretty decent l3wt this year, among it Prince of Persia, some butcher knives for stabbing people, some kickass boots, a pizza stone (what’s up now?), and a goddamn cruise. I’m sure you’re all eating your hearts out *right now*. And, quite frankly, that’s what Christmas is all about.

I completely glutted myself on pork this year; ham, bacon, sausage, more ham. So yummy. I think I gained about a million, billion pounds, however, and I’ve been thinking of stealing Granholm’s idea and putting a little weight counter on the side, so if you don’t lose weight the whole world makes fun of you and you end up dangling from the end of an electrical cord with a note that says “I’m fat and the world is full of food.” So, maybe not.

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We’re planning on working on our house this Christmas, the gift which (apparently) just keeps on giving.

I’d like to take a moment and step away from the usual vitriolic misanthropy and left-wing political platitudes that I usually espouse on this site, and wish the soldiers on both sides of the Iraq conflict a little goodwill and (God willing) a little peace. It’s easy to forget that these are just boys who are giving up their lives for the policies of men who have never seen war – these soldiers (on both sides) do only what they’re told; they do not in and of themselves propogate the conflict.

Whether you agree with the war or not, I’m sure you wish the safe return of many Americans to their families here in the States. I’m not a religious man (as many of you know), but I pray that they will be spending the holidays with their loved ones in 2004. And to those soldiers who will be returning to the US in a body bag, I hope you’re in a place unlike earth; a place where the tyranny of the few is outweighed by the peace of the many.

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Tomorrow, a spacecraft will be touching down on the Isidis Plaintia of Mars (if all goes well). The Beagle 2 (named after Darwin’s famous ship that bore him to the Galapagos Islands) will be searching for signs of present or past life on the red planet.

Korzak and I sometimes disagree if these are valid missions (he’s much more interested in exploring Earth’s oceans), but I think we can both agree that any progress in the field of exploration is a “good thing.” I would venture that exploring, investigating, and discovery are part of what makes us to be human. Any money spent in this way is welcome.

Space.com is also running the 10 best space images of 2003. You can check yourself (of course), but here are my favorites:

• The largest solar flare on record
• A light echo from the star V838 Monocerotis
• Mercury crosses the sun
• Not on the list, but very “Eye of Sauron” anyway

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I got this letter from Scooter McP:

“…you need more porn. [P]orn on the internet is going to be huge and you want to get in on the ground floor.”

As you know, we aim to please

“[y]ou should put me in one of your blorgs and tell everyone how cool [I] am.”

Oh, don’t worry Scooter. They know.

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It’s a done deal, gentle readers.

That’s right. On 12/18/03, I bought a lovely house on seven acres of DEAR GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE!! DID WE KEEP THE RECEIPT?!

OK, that’s over with. Since the purchase of this house, I have been working on/in it. HurricaneMasta has been kind enough to help, and didn’t laugh once when I turned the sander on and shot straight through the floor into the basement, landing with my face on the sand paper and actually digging a hole all the way to the bone of my skull.

Haha! Just kidding! Just the kind of humor you’re going to get from me these days – the kind of humor that laughs in the face of a several-hundred thousand dollar debt and a mountain of housework that needs to be done, let alone the move, let alone the entire other structure on my property (a barn) which I want to turn into the greatest game center since Tron but instead will, at this time, turn it into a shed for holding tools.

But at least I won’t be living in NJ.

The house, as you may or many not know, is about 240-odd years old. The woman who lived there was actually a historian, and she hooked us up with old maps and an entire binder (filled with aged photographs) of what the house looked like. I’ll post it online in the near future in case you’re bored and want to read more about our domicile. In addition to that little report, I’m going to post pics so you can see the (hopefully) beneficial changes we’re bringing to the building.

For those who have asked – we’re not going to be moving at the end of December. There’s too much to do. The move will be postponed until the end (or near the end) of January 2004, provided our landlord hasn’t rented the place out in the past few days, a feeling not unlike your parents renting out your room when you’ve left for college (don’t think I’ve forgotten that).

I’m hoping to post again, but if I don’t – have a Happy Christmas. Oh, and if you haven’t sent me your address for a Christmas card… let’s just say I’ve been talking to Santa and he’s going to bring you some Anthrax.

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I’m seeing a screening of the Return of the King tonight in an undisclosed location. You’re not invited.

In addition:
AIEEEEEEEE!!!

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I’m going to be changing my email address soon. I get about 100 messages a day, and at least 90 of them are spam. The straw that broke the camel’s back? This piece of fucking CHRISTIAN spam I got today. When the Lord’s chosen start spamming me, it’s time to move on:

GOD needs to be in your life,

Make plans while you still can contact a local church or prayer hotline.

Dear Jesus, please force your followers to stop spamming me, either by giving them rectal cancer or, when they’re on the highway next, have a tractor trailer driven by a coked up trucker on the 79th hour of a cross-country route flip over the divider and land in front of your follower, pinning them inside their car, and the trucker’s cigarette lights the ripped gas line on the bottom of their cab which slowly leaks fiery liquid death into the passenger’s seat, and all they can do is scream. Or break their computers. Amen.

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Jamie’s 30th birthday was this weekend.

I just wanted to throw that out there so you know what’s up. As you may or may not know, it snowed a shit-ton this weekend – first snow of the year, I might add, so things were more chaotic then normal. I left work early on Friday,and driving home was like riding a tricycle through Baghdad. I saw some of the most stupid shit I think I have ever seen.

At any rate – the party. Eric was driving up. I wanted to go with him, and I called him to see how it was going. He apparently had been stuck in traffic for about 45 minutes. And had gotten THREE LIGHTS DOWN FROM HIS HOUSE! I told him to abandon all hope and turn back,but he’s a trooper and he would have none of it.

I knew Jamie’s party was going to be fun. Korzak knew it was going to be fun, as well – in fact, he even started warming up a few days earlier (the following message was from Thursday):

STEFAN!!!

as evidenced byn thsaie email

If Korzak was already speaking Aramaic, I knew we were in store for a good time.

I figured I’d wait until Saturday morning to leave. I got a message at 2:45 am on Saturday morning – apparently, Mark, Sean, and Eric had JUST ARRIVED AT ROB’S HOUSE, which is over the border with Connecticut. The message was grim; they were encouraging me to drive the 10.5 hours to Rob’s house for the party, insisting that a) Jamie would do it for me, b) if I didn’t go, Jamie would cry, c) 10.5 hours in the car isn’t too bad, if you think about it.

I passed on going up, though I’m very sorry I missed the party. I took care of some business over this weekend, packed, made brownies, drank hot cocoa and scotch, and talked to my wife. It was all very relaxing.

I have learned, however, that if your friends are going out drinking, you MUST turn your phone off before you go to sleep, otherwise you WILL get half-coherent calls at ass o’clock am. Sure enough, I got a message at 4:55am, Sunday morning from Mark. Since I hope that it defines the good time that was had, I’m going to let it stand on its own. Happy Birthday, Jamie!!

“It’s been snowing for five straight days. Most of us are drunk or dead. Eric has driven through 10 million cubic feet of snow. it was the best fucking time. Ever.”

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